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Next to you…

is my favorite place to be.

Nine simple words that literally just melted heart. Technically I packed my heart in his luggage. So the melting will happen when he comes back from his trip. It’s difficult to accept that we are not together physically but he has been nothing but reassuring all month, all week that he truly cares and loves me. His card pretty much proves my assumptions correctly. There’s no doubt in my mind (now) that we are a match-made in heaven.

I really hope that he understands what I got him for our first year. It is an accumulation of all of our moments that has been fueling my heart to heal faster and the reason it’s whole again. All of those memories captured or written has been/is the foundation our relationship has been built on and although I was hesitant to allow it, QA-ing my present when it arrived just put everything to perspective.

I have been glowing. These past few months we have gotten closer and closer. We learned so much so far and our relationship is progressing in the right direction.

Earlier this week, I drunk cried. The most ugliest insecurities took over my emotions and he handled it like a champ. I even saw him with tears… it has been really hard for me to imagine him in such state but it did and we are both just better for it.

Last weekend at camping when we secretly persuaded the kiddos to take a mini nature walk, my potential future flashed before my eyes. My family being comfortable with him, him cooking in front of my mom and aunts… it was very overwhelmingly amazing to experience right before our one year mark. He is making it very difficult to not say the 3 little words, 8 letters, 1 meaning he has been waiting for… but I promised myself that I will stick with the original plan I had in mind. It is my last attempt to protect my heart.

Him not being here physically will definitely teach me a lot about the new and evolved me. That self 2.0 that he’s been so willingly able to love. I want to strengthen my self worthiness, experience the person I can be by myself. Erase a few more toxicity thoughts that is brewing in my head and prepare for another great year with the rooskie. Settling into our solidified relationship and really love him to all my hearts content… the only way I know how to love… unconditionally.

Happy Anniversary Lapa ko! 🥰

PROJECT 333

i read about this years ago in a blog. i was obsessed with those monthly photo challenges and found it somehow and been thinking about trying it since. then months later i saw the Minimalist Documentary on Netflix. i’ve been thinking about the wardrobe situation for when i stay at his place for 3 straight weeks (weekend not included) so i went and dig this info up. on another kinda related topic, the other night i watched a similar documentary that got me thinking about our obsession with excess today – Generation Wealth. this made me want to do this minimalist lifestyle even more.

as i get older i find myself being better defined. i’d like to believe that i’ve figured everything out but it’s all still being solidified. a lot of bloggers who started to simplify their life started their post with what made them do this lifestyle change in the first place. hmmm, what’s mine… let’s just say i am still craving for that comfortable routine and i realized that when you lose weight, you think about clothes less and less. i bought a wardrobe to get me started with a seasonal cycle of clothes but i found myself having key items that i would wear throughout the year so that didn’t work. i tried the trick of looking at items in my room and asking myself for each item – do i need this, does it bring me joy, what does it represent in my life and i found that everything i’ve ever purchased has brought me joy one way or another… so let’s say that didn’t work either.

the last 2-3 years i have been spring cleaning randomly throughout the year instead of taking an actual vacation. i would take all the items in my room (except for the big furniture stuff) and take them all to the living room. i would normally have 3 garbage bags full of things that i have collected over time that i didn’t need anymore. some stuff i kept has now moved to his place for easier access. this year though, i finally took a vacation so i haven’t had much chance to do another cleaning. i’ve also gotten into a shopping spree mode and now i’m back to where i started. soo…

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. on saturday, i will be picking 33 items that i will bring to his place. the rule is simple:

project333

i wonder if i should go back to school for sociology (random thought). anyway wish me luck. out of sight, out of mind. what i have is definitely, ENOUGH.