vday as some say…

is the most commercial day in the world. had a date tonight with my girlfriend and we got to thinking about vday. she’s single and ready to mingle, hence being on the defense about the day. i guess it’s hard to think about valentines day seriously when you know that there isn’t anyone special in the horizon. i get it, i fully understand, because i can imagine how it would feel without a special someone. i know that coming from me it won’t sound as genuine but i can honestly say that even if i had nobody to call my own on this day, i would still feel that its my favorite day of the year. it’s pretty much like christmas for me or i mean it’s the equivalent. i feel more lonely on christmas than on valentine’s day. it’s a day to remember love, any type of love. 27 years later, & my mom still gets me valentine’s day cards…

maybe i’m just an optimist, i love reading about love, i love seeing love, even if i was heartbroken on this day i could never turn my back on each interaction others may have… wait maybe that’s borderline sadistic. if i was on my own on this day, i would sit at starbucks watching all of those on a date. imagine the magnitude of the love they have, puppylove, unrequited love, new love, old love. the posts/articles professing love, expressing from the deep within souls and all hearts alike. there’s just so much love to be shared i doubt i can diss the day when it’s pda’d all over the place. i know it’s commercial but if you dig deep, if you took a peek within the corner of your eyes you will find a couple of people genuinely expressing unconditional love… and that’s just cherry on top for me.

any other day, if i saw a lovey dovey couple i would have them condemned but it’s like watching a romantic movie, you expect it on this day and if it’s not shown truly, well then it’s like a movie you would rate at 2.5 out 5 stars. any other day i would be like *barf naman*, but it’s just different for me on valentine’s day. i could rant on about how much i love this day but it’s not going to change your mind, will it? accept it for what it is. “you’re bored because you’re being boring” or flip that frown upside down.

enough about what the day means to me… let’s dig deep into my memory and see what i can recall as something unforgettable that’s ever happened on this day. 7 years ago, J and I were fighting. i had decided to end the only great thing i’ve had in a long time. the words he said to me before midnight of vday was the most romantic set of words i’ve ever heard coming from a guy. it wasn’t your usual, i love you… it was more… he told me specifically why he loved having me in his life, he told me what i meant to him and thanked me for the blissful year. i remember him tearing up while i snicker in the dark. that was where this all began, that night when i knew he was the different kind of right. i’ve been pursued a couple of times before but i’ve never felt the security and the honesty of someones professed love out of the kindness of his heart like the way he did that night. i will never forget when he asked me to be in his life permanently as his girlfriend, partner, lover and friend. who’d ever think that the most perfect way to celebrate valentine’s day is just to stare into his eyes and hear him explain why he wants you in his life as a partner, as a better half. nothing can ever beat that…no amount of flowers or chocolates can make your heart skip a beat. safe to say until now, i’m not saying it happens all the time, but every once in a while, i can still feel my heart skipping a beat when i see him looking at me the same way he used to look at me with such conviction and unconditional love as he did that first night.

love is definitely in the air.

Back to Back Again.

i’m so tired right now but i still have a few things i want to take care of for work, just so that i’m not too overwhelmed tomorrow. so as i mentioned my birthday wish was to be left alone all weekend and it was granted. i didn’t check anything online, i stayed dormant on the couch catching up on shows, movies, games and more shows. but this weekend was another story. it all starts with the fact that my cousin was having an engagement party (i did forget to mention that i’m fulfilling another first and definitely not the last of being a bridesmaid :)). anyway, work was hectic on friday because we were having a panini sale at work trying to raise money for Movember helping out our three mo’s raise money for their staches. so much fun but it took over 3 hours of my working day (time well spent i should say because it was a tremendous success). on and off with J trying to figure out what we were going to be doing that night (all knowing it would be pure chillage but we were debating about the logistics).

not knowing what i was going to wear at the party, i decided to fit the following before heading out to Rian’s place for some pre-drinking. so first meet up with the girls, travel to lcbo before scavenging h&m for outfits, then eating at the urban eatery, then heading south excited to play dance central 2 on kinect. this took only 2 hours non stop. then we started drinking and dancing the game. wow that is a major workout. if you want to save money on skipping out on a trainer, play the kinect. the game is very engaging and very interactive. then we dragged our tipsy selves to raq for even more dancing and sweating. then missioned home with J after a full blown disagreement and tear. (highlight which was shortlived was the birthday shoutout i got that was very random and it felt sweet at the same time, aww these peeps love me :))

we get home and we sleep as much as we can. 5 hours later we’re getting ready to travel to a filipino restaurant for ace & laile’s engagement party. what a perfect venue for an intimate gathering for family and friends. we purposely starved ourselves so we can eat a good meal 🙂 and we did. it wasn’t amazing but it was good enough for our cravings, ace’s mom could cook better but the lechon was devine!! haahah – there was a whole lot of catching up with my other cousins tina & frank, catching up with the tito’s and tita’s & of course lola. it was a beautiful day outside and it couldn’t have been any more perfect than what it was. they had a slideshow and it literally made me tear up but i forced it not to come out hahaha. i’m so excited for them, and the wonderful journey they are about to embark on. even as a cousin i felt she was perfect for him. there was something about her and i’m sure i’ve already mentioned this to both of them and i’m super glad that my cousin snatched her up. i was there throughout the initial courtship and i saw how much my cousin wanted to be with her and as i got to know her and when i tagged along on the chicago trip, i knew!! there are just some couples who have a certain positive aura about them, there’s this one thing that just fits well together. i get overjoyed everytime i talk or think about them and that’s that. Congratulations to you both!! (their story)

of course it was also pacquiao’s 3rd fight with morales, after all the back ups and finalizing what to do, we ended up seeing xtian & dauph for this special day, i think this is 3x in a row for this ppv fight with us going to sauga. anyway xtian was still running errands when we arrived in milton. talk about great foursquare checking ins for 2 hours. yes he made us wait for him 2 hours. within the 2 hours were epic though because we were able to settle what we were arguing about the night before. and of course whenever we go to an event, we always end up talking about our own set of events. there were talks about NYC in March, him going on a boys trip in april or so, and me going to texas for my cousin’s wedding. then we started talking about the picture. he’s finally got his mindset on right and have some good plans for the future. we set our 3 year plans, up to 5 years and if god’s willing, we meet our designated targets and we’re set for the next stages; having a family, our own home and all the riches we are able to handle hahaha. it was a much needed 2 hours for some counseling.

then xtian arrived, we picked up dauphe and we were set on watching the fight. word of the day “awkward, awkward” along with the awkward bobble. pacquiao won what else is new. then we ended up at a random 24 hours diner for some late night eats. we then travelled from the airport all the way back to scarborough and shortly after got some much needed power naps. we then after all the bf3’s and netflix shows, headed over to pmall for some fishballs and beefballs. then we all went home and here i am blogging about another long ass weekend. i’m exhausted and all i want to do now is curl up into j’s arms and sleep.

 

sweet dreams everyone.

Love in the Jungle

so i just finished watching this new show on CTV. wow, i thought it was going to be another boring Bachelor/Bachelorette type of show in another setting… but i must admit it was quite a good concept.

so it’s 10 single gals and boys dropped in the middle of the jungle in Costa Rica (beauuuutiful place btw), they will need to do challenges throughout the season with the random peeps that are there.

imagine, roughing it out with someone you’ve known for like a minute and a half in the jungle. It looks exciting and fun getting to meet new people, testing your limits, your endurance and of course your ability to connect with someone who could possibly be the person you and end up with roughing it out in the real world for the rest of your life.

Wedding Cold Feet

Today i was exposed to a term often feared, often misguided, and often mentioned; COLD FEET i know not everything is perfect but there’s a lot of learning to be had hearing other peoples troubles and tribulations. then i find myself hoping that the man i plan to spend the rest of my life with doesn’t coward themselves out. it hurts to think that most relationships end up being misguided and loses their sparks.

you gotta know how important that spark is, and ensure that they are there for the right reasons. sparking with someone else for me is considered trouble. in my opinion, you should never feel the need to gain sparks for someone else. keep the spark within your own relationship. worry about that 1 and you should be fine. & obviously if you’re stuck in a rut, it takes 2 to tango but someone always needs to lead. get over that pride and just do what needs to be done to get that spark back. it’s hard but at least you tried.

question; do you still feel the passion? the sparks?
then the hardest question you should really think about is does he/she?

Strangers Again

Srangers AgainI

Stage 1 Meeting
Stage 2 Chase
Stage 3 Honeymoon
Stage 4 Comfortable
Stage 5 Tolerance
Stage 6 Downhill
Stage 7 Breaking up or Getting Married

right now me and J are stuck in 3 stages. Stages 3-5. we’ve hit stage 6 at one point but our love was strong enough to get us out of a rut. i think it all depends on the age and wisdom a person has. it’s one of the things i like about J. he certainly knows my buttons. the button to make me forget about all our problems and hardship, the button to make me hate and love him all at the same time. our different stages all depends on our interactions.

Stage 3: when we’re together alone.
Stage 4: when we’re together with a group of people.
Stage 5: when we’re both at home (seperately-together).

call me gullable but i believe his words when he says he will do things. the only downhill part is when i don’t see progress or effort. but last week when he confirmed that he’s just waiting to get settled but all that seriousness is inevitable made me weak in the knees. all those talks about feeling he’s the one, the forever in a day one is reciprocated because he felt the same way and he plans the same way.

i just want to bring out the best in him. i know i make him happy but have yet to conquer being the motivation in his life. i want to really motivate him, cause him motivated equals me motivated.

there’s so much in a relationship other than these stages. media may play a part in creating stages for you but at the end, it’s your decisions and your happiness on the line. true love is never easy. it’s the way we handle things and recover from things that really test our commitment to one another.