i am currently at 20 drafts and i can’t seem to focus on publishing my posts as-is. this blog is just a personal blog that highlights my path to self discovery. it’s a way for me to stop time, internalize what’s happening in my world, and voice out (through my fingers) how i want to remember this life.
i love reading my own train of thoughts. it always feels like i’m rediscovering myself. but ever since i moved over to wordpress, i’ve felt the pressure of making my site as appealing as those that have made a career out of blogging.
i just want an outlet for my mild creativity. i need to make a habit out of writing creatively and sticking to a blogging routine. uggh, routines. one month to go before the new year and the clock is ticking faster. honing down on a few key tasks that will make me feel more productive with my dailies/monthlies/yearlies.
let’s take it one step at a time though, version 32 will be my best yet.
it finally happened- i legit went on my first *real* highway experience (accidentally) last saturday. it was nerveracking, excelarating, and palm sweating all the same time. i did pretty well and i was proud that my mom did not panic. she was very calm and collected as i revved up the gas and she coaches me to merge and keep at a fast pace. it only lasted about 10 minutes but i’ll never forget it.
i didn’t manuver much. hahah
later on the way home from cabbagetown, my mom agreed that i can and should get on another one… DVP — officially my second. i found it a bit harder to keep the speed because i found myself slowing down that winding road but i still did it and we got home safe and sound. now all i gotta do is practice. practice. & buy a car.
next summer long driving is definitely appearing to be doable (G). super ecstatic!
tonight was another one of those nights where we found ourselves saying ‘the weather is so nice, let’s sit on the patio and enjoy it while it last. it could be one of the last times we can this year, so let’s take advantage’.
the crew has been saying this for the past month and it hasn’t gotten cold enough yet for us to chose to sit inside the bar.
this summer’s sunsets has been the most memorable i can remember so far. there are a few factors for this though. 1)it may have been the first time i may have given it more thought than i’ve ever allowed 2)it may have been the colour i saw when i started following @pantone earlier this year on instagram 3)simply put it could’ve been because this was the first summer i actually got out and about within the city.
but let’s just face it – it was just the first time i’ve been single during summer.
yes, in all technicality i am single but my heart hasn’t followed suit. i haven’t began looking/dating. there’s been a few instant crushes passing by that could turn into potentials, but that’s as far as it goes. i’m still that hopeless romantic, where i tell myself – i’ll definitely step up if i ever see him again. step up meaning ‘sharing a glance, then eventually building up the nerve to approach’. but in the city, it’s hardly unlikely.there was that one time that i came across a passing crush where i agreed (internally) to try talking to if i ever saw again but – i froze – stared at my phone and decided not to approach (or make eye contact) because insecurities. then my thoughts jumped to believing he’s crushing on my bestie. haha
but really, what’s the worst that could happen? he doesn’t remember ever running into me in the elevators. we share an awkward pause then i get off the subway wayyy before i am supposed to get off. dangit check out my ramblings… back to sunsets. do you see how beautiful they were. spent a lot of time looking up at the sky, falling deeply in love with the colours and thinking there’s only so many tomorrows.
the views from the 6ix was different this summer and i owe it all to the crew. perfect weather plays a part but when you are surrounded by people who enjoys the city as much as you have always felt everyone should, then it’s all just gravy. and everyone knows how much i love gravy!