dear wordpress

i am currently at 20 drafts and i can’t seem to focus on publishing my posts as-is. this blog is just a personal blog that highlights my path to self discovery. it’s a way for me to stop time, internalize what’s happening in my world, and voice out (through my fingers) how i want to remember this life.

i love reading my own train of thoughts. it always feels like i’m rediscovering myself. but ever since i moved over to wordpress, i’ve felt the pressure of making my site as appealing as those that have made a career out of blogging.

i just want an outlet for my mild creativity. i need to make a habit out of writing creatively and sticking to a blogging routine. uggh, routines. one month to go before the new year and the clock is ticking faster. honing down on a few key tasks that will make me feel more productive with my dailies/monthlies/yearlies.

let’s take it one step at a time though, version 32 will be my best yet.

100 km/h

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it finally happened- i legit went on my first *real* highway experience (accidentally) last saturday. it was nerveracking, excelarating, and palm sweating all the same time. i did pretty well and i was proud that my mom did not panic. she was very calm and collected as i revved up the gas and she coaches me to merge and keep at a fast pace. it only lasted about 10 minutes but i’ll never forget it.

i didn’t manuver much. hahah

later on the way home from cabbagetown, my mom agreed that i can and should get on another one… DVP — officially my second. i found it a bit harder to keep the speed because i found myself slowing down that winding road but i still did it and we got home safe and sound. now all i gotta do is practice. practice. & buy a car.

next summer long driving is definitely appearing to be doable (G). super ecstatic!

Sunsets

tonight was another one of those nights where we found ourselves saying ‘the weather is so nice, let’s sit on the patio and enjoy it while it last. it could be one of the last times we can this year, so let’s take advantage’.

the crew has been saying this for the past month and it hasn’t gotten cold enough yet for us to chose to sit inside the bar.

this summer’s sunsets has been the most memorable i can remember so far. there are a few factors for this though. 1)it may have been the first time i may have given it more thought than i’ve ever allowed 2)it may have been the colour i saw when i started following @pantone earlier this year on instagram 3)simply put it could’ve been because this was the first summer i actually got out and about within the city.

but let’s just face it – it was just the first time i’ve been single during summer.


yes, in all technicality i am single but my heart hasn’t followed suit. i haven’t began looking/dating. there’s been a few instant crushes passing by that could turn into potentials, but that’s as far as it goes. i’m still that hopeless romantic, where i tell myself – i’ll definitely step up if i ever see him again. step up meaning ‘sharing a glance, then eventually building up the nerve to approach’. but in the city, it’s hardly unlikely.there was that one time that i came across a passing crush where i agreed (internally) to try talking to if i ever saw again but – i froze – stared at my phone and decided not to approach (or make eye contact) because insecurities. then my thoughts jumped to believing he’s crushing on my bestie. haha

but really, what’s the worst that could happen? he doesn’t remember ever running into me in the elevators. we share an awkward pause then i get off the subway wayyy before i am supposed to get off. dangit check out my ramblings… back to sunsets. do you see how beautiful they were. spent a lot of time looking up at the sky, falling deeply in love with the colours and thinking there’s only so many tomorrows.

the views from the 6ix was different this summer and i owe it all to the crew. perfect weather plays a part but when you are surrounded by people who enjoys the city as much as you have always felt everyone should, then it’s all just gravy. and everyone knows how much i love gravy!

MacBook Pro


i caved in. i finally took the leap and put myself in debt for an item i have been talking about for-ever and day. i am officially a proud owner of a MacBook Pro.

last week, i took a staycation. i took the time to get some financial things finalized, booked a spa trip for me and my mom, spent adventure times with the chosen few and fit in a day or two catching up on tv shows/movies/sleep.

during that pricey spa trip with my mom, her phone wouldn’t turn on. she has been complaining about the battery and i knew it’s time to retire her 4 year old phone. this past year, she managed to get by. i bought her an external battery charger/pack and taught her how to have barely anything running in the background. i also made sure the iOs was updated (when required). that routine worked for a good year but then eventually that pack just fried the battery because it was a third party charger. we all know how that never helps in the long run with these very exclusive apple products (pfft).

i convinced her that she should disconnect for a couple of days. she enjoyably agreed but i knew that as soon as we’re done the trip, i would need to get her a new device. but of course with a new device, i need to back-up+back-up+back-up. ultimately i needed iTunes and i couldn’t do that on my work laptop. it’s been a little over a year without a personal laptop (because PC batteries never last and they eventually just die). i have kept all old memory boards and eventually i will figure out a way to get those backed up properly… eventually.

anyway, as soon as we got home – i did a manual upload of all her apps, gave her access to my spotify and added all her contacts 1-by-1. i also uploaded the few pictures we took on my iPhone from our trip. after that i knew it was time to order the Pro. it came 2 days early and just like that here i am. any acquired laptops, a story is born and i have to blog and test out the keyboard. that is how it all began, of course. another one for the books with my devices and now i shall live frugally for the rest of the year.

with any new device comes the set ups. as much as i love save password prompts, because i am the most forgetful person, starting over on a new device always results in changing every important gmail/hotmail/itunes passwords i have ever had. then down the road – instagram/tumblr/linkedin. time to begin a cheat sheet for the growing list of sites/apps that requires passwords. in a way, i like that for most apps – you can opt in to sign up by using Facebook log-ins. at least that i have memorized, same with wordpress.

i’m sitting at 500+ words for this post, time to get back to work and start clicking all the “Forgot Password” links for what i need to get ‘Family Sharing’ set up. aja aja fighting*

kaos-pika08

ps.

command = ctrl
To forward-delete, hold down the fn key and press delete.

OTWOL

Love That Never Grows Old
by Juan Miguel Severo 

balang araw, ang mga brasong ito, ay hindi ka na kakayaning kargahin.
kukulubot na rin, ang mukha, na una mong minahal, maging ang mga gusaling nakasanayan natin – posibleng magiba at palitan.

may mga palayan tayong napuntahan
na magbibigay daan, sa pangalan umano ng pag-unlad
pero ikaw, tayo – tayo ang kailangan kong huwag magbago sa mundo.

kailangan kong malaman, na kung malagas man ang mga ngipin ko
kasabay ng mga taon, mapapasaya ka parin ng ngiti ko.
kailangan kong sabihin mong malinaw pa rin sa yo
ang pagtingin mo sa akin, kahit na lumabo na ang mga mata mo.
at kapag dumami na ang mga uban natin, at ang ulo ko ay nagmistulang mga bakanteng pahina ng isang aklat, ipangako mo sa akin
kuwento parin natin, ang hindi mo pagsasawaang isulat.

mahal, 
may mga araw tayong hindi na maalala pagdating ng panahon na iyun
ang ating mga kahapon ay posibleng kumupas, at sakupin ng bawat parating na ngayon.

pero kung sakali lang, na mapaisip ka, at matakot, kung tama ba, na mabuhay tayo ng magkasama
panghawakan mo ang ating kasaysayan, wag limutin ang pagsinta, magbalik tayo sa simula

yakapin mo ako sa bawat ngayon at bukas, gaano man malimutan ang mga nangyari sa gitna, balang araw, pupunuin ng pagtanda ng mga guhit ng ating mukha, rurupok ang ating mga buto, pero ikaw
ikaw parin ang paborito kong libro
at babasahin kita ng paulit-ulit hanggang sa huling pagtulog ko

nasasabik – sa mga bukas kapiling mo, ako