3AM Rawness

I wrote this a year ago.

08 16 2018 @ 3am

Give me a simple, handsome man who’s got a good set of values. Where the handsomeness is derived from their hard work and health consciousness. One who exudes confidence not because they know they are hot shit but because they earned their sexiness through a successful regime. Point me a man who can intrigue my curiosity and ignite my soul with elevated experiences only shared between people with 100% compatibility. A man with eyes that are so undeniably beautiful, full of stories, honesty and innocence. Lips that fits just right with mine.

If I can have a man who has the same level of sexual experiences or is patient with my inexperienced self (big bonus). A man who is subtle in showing his admiration but has real courage to conquer my world or simply fits himself as a missing piece into my puzzle of a life.

It’s true that to completely learn what you want in a partner, you would have to do research. In order to fully understand yourself, you’d have to eventually let go of the old and allow the new to fully take over wholeheartedly to embrace the learnings of the why it never worked with anyone else. But and it’s a big But to truly look deep within oneself and reassure that self that everything we do is rooted from good intentions and not from forceful moving forwards… hmm that last rule didn’t make sense…

As humans we need to be able to isolate our feelings within ourselves. Over analyze our actions where it truly matters. Question every angle of our actions vs our thoughts vs our feelings because they are all derived from different areas within. Action being promoted by the brain, which doesn’t always compute to the right actions for the situation. Our thoughts being derived from the same brain but only really formulated after seeing what our actions changes in the dynamics of the universe. I’m truly a believer that our feelings are 100% heart and the ability to isolate the heart from the brain is equally as important because our heart beats a different beat than our brain.

When everything syncs – fireworks happen. Dear heart, let’s enjoy these days before we allow fear to convolute the greatest experiences I’ve had in a decade. Let’s Flash this and slow it down enough to be mindful but also fast enough to meet that ticking time bomb of a woman’s schedule. I pray for nothing but clear days ahead – no real expectations but a simple plea to protect my heart and my new world from an inevitable harm… also known as time or myself really.

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