Saturday Mornings (DT)

a little back story of one major adulting step coming up in august (2019), living by myself in his appartment. he’s going back home for 3 weeks and has offered to open his place up for me to stay in while he’s gone. i would have to water his plants and check in once in a while anyway. i thought about this really hard since January when he got his citizenship (so proud of him btw). since then amidst all my wonkyness, i though really hard about living away from home.

anyway, i have never lived alone. i have always had my mom by my side and if not my mom, the ex, and if not the ex the girls. am i even capable of living by myself? i have always complained to everyone that i am bad at being a housewife because i’ve been spoiled rotten by THE greatest mom ever who’s sole purpose in life has been to cater to me. she does my laundry, cleans the house, puts food on the table. in my twenties, i’ve always survived with just eating out, eating at other people’s places, so food isn’t the issue. it’s the laundry, it’s the responsibility… making sure lights are off without someone reminding me, making sure the stove is off (if i do decide to use it), making sure the door is locked as soon as i walk out the door.

living with someone is very convenient. my mom has raised me to be independently reliant on her for everything home related lol. but little by little, in the last couple of years, i have craved to build my own habits, my own routines, his place was just the cherry on top. i helped him furnish it, i buy the most random-est items which i treat as my needs part-time living at his place which we currently cohabitate with him pretty much every other 2 days. In the last couple of years, i would buy things to put up in my room at home. I buy decor as to furnish the future home i have been trying hard to finally accomplish. The only regret i have is why didn’t i start all of this sooner. sigh* before i get sidetracked…

I am excited.

I am scared shitless.

I hope to live up to the experience the best i can and hope i don’t run home just because it is an option. Everything happens for a reason and You are exactly where you need to be. I couldn’t have imagined where i would be in a million years and I am humbled and forever thankful. #blessed #worththewait #fallingtoohard

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