Stares from a Ghost

Silver lining: I will never be as young as I am at this exact moment in time. On another note, I ran into a ghost today. My HS boyfriend, the infamous Rodjo. All I am dwelling on is what type of impression did I leave as he saw me, as we hung out for a hot minute (cause it felt like 50 degrees hot at that moment), as we share another smoke sesh together – what was he thinking/feeling. What sparked the stares, the nervous stutters…

On my end, my mind was racing. I was shook to my core. If I didn’t leave when I did, if I didn’t have that last cigarette with M before heading down to the subway, if I didn’t catch that slow train where the lady kept so much personal space that I forced myself in between the middle somewhere… would we have run into each other cosmically. If I had not stuck to my word of going to Ate Novies today, if I had not met up and had a heart-to-heart talk until 1AM with Babs last night, would I have run into him randomly… still shook. If I had stayed my lazy self after soaking up too much sun from the farmers market plus the afternoon humidity, I would not have been at that exact path. dear destiny, why you playing with me?

After a chat with my bestie and my mom, the shook-ness stopped. Easily – not worth it. Clearly he is way too broken for me to even be a lil interested. He was out of my life for a real reason and honestly my heart remembers it all. Don’t worry ❀️ you are safe (from this).

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