shit! – but it’s ok, i lost my wanderlust self waaahh maybe next year.
for the past year or so i have been booking days off from work without any plans of actually vacationing anywhere. i’ve been obsessed with staycationing tbh – but i haven’t been able to do it right at all. i never get to do what i need to do and end up just watching days pass without getting anything done from my to-do list. i’m off again this coming week and some days have been set with meeting up with people, doing things around the city and enjoying the last week of summer. single life (for me) makes it hard to want to plan trips (even though the craving is there) and also i’m still deflecting (getting tired of it but feeling numb is easier than feeling hurt).
as an adult i have kept the idea of school year’s summer break as “official summer”. once september hits it feels like summer is over (even though it’s really not and it should be weather based or actual day based). anyway, dear time – whoa slow the fuk down, please and thanks. all i want to do is crawl in bed, curl up and not move (hence the picture chosen for this post). i’m sure i have followers on insta that is wondering hard about my lifestyle and trust me, i’m just here contemplating about it a lot too. where did summer go?
i need to slow down and the only way is to take it one breath at a time. i want to remember and be aware and be present. i want to be able to converse and form opinions and stick to plans. no more overbooking, no more feeling like everything needed to get done yesterday. there’s only so many tomorrows so let’s do it today.
tentative timeline, let’s project manage this staycation:
- Monday: deal w/nanay’s taxes + passport + bike ride for exercise
- Tuesday: champagne in the morning + karaoke
- Wednesday: clean room + cousin’s day
- Thursday: ME DAY (reflection + budget day)
- Friday: photo decluttering + crew night (if available)
- Saturday: CNE DAY
- Sunday or Monday: Portlands/TT
learned a new term today – TFW: an internet slang acronym that stands for “that feel when.” interesting because i have been having soooo many TFW moments.