Birthday Blues

30 for the second time. The first year I guess I can’t count…? This is not where I imagined myself today. I wallowed all weekend about my birthday. I had imagined that by this time, Halloween/Birthday celebrations will not be about me anymore. It would be focused on something else like a child. That – I’ve witnessed has got to be the ultimate deflection mechanism. But I guess in due time I will learn, if that is in fact the path my life will eventually lead, amongst other things… I guess.

Adulting just ultimately sucks. There’s no where to run from it really… this is just how I feel right now until I get my fix from the chosen few that will put a smile on my face as much as I try (not so hard) to fight it. Haha.

Let’s be dark and gloomy for another half an hour. I hate my birthdays when there’s no real milestone. I cherish those that enjoy their birthdays, hats off to you all. I love life, just not birthdays so sue me.

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