Deciding.

speaking of decisions. i dont remember the site i copied this off of, but im sure i didnt write it. but of course it was saved as a draft for a reason…to inspire…read on!!

—***—
as i prepare to enter the next decade of my life, i’ve learned that life is a series of decisions. timing is not real and that deciding is afterall the common denominator to uncovering the reasons for living. we can keep complaining about the series of choices we are handed but to be after more than a quarter into ‘my’ lifetime, i’ve finally learned that time is not the enemy. we blame time when it’s short, when it’s dragging, and when we want it to just stop. at the end of the day at this day and age it’s all about deciding. timing is not real. there is no sense in waiting for the right time or the right place, it’s about deciding that makes it the time and place. it’s all just coincidental.

It’s weird to say We’ve never had good timing, huh?, huh? Timing isn’t a thing. Time is, timing is not. Time is debatable as a thing really, too.

You make what you want to work, work. I know. I have excuses that feel like reasons, too. But I’m on a train to Belgium because I wanted to go. Not because it’s affordable or easy. Not without a ticket agent catching me without a ticket because they don’t take damn credit cards anywhere I’ve found here. But he let me go because I smiled and explained and he smiled and explained and I had exactly enough money in my wallet to pay cash. I didn’t have a clue how much the ticket cost, but I made a choice and it worked out. Deciding fixes many things, I’ve found.

Timing. You have time to write me emails about your studies. You had time to become my friend. You have money to buy your coffee and time to drink it. You maybe got up and decided to do nothing today. It’s not timing, love. It’s deciding. I could blame half of my life on bad timing, maybe even most of it if I wanted. But, here we are back to deciding and I’ve made a better choice than that.

Pick. Choose. Don’t tell people timing.

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