Summer 2017

let’s keep this post positive. this summer has by far been the most memorable yet. i feel truly blessed right now reminiscing all the adventures, now that summer has come to an end.

this is how adulting put on hold looks like >>>

  1. Long driving to Blue Mountain + detour to Bruce with Nanay
  2. Random baby fixes with Jaslyn
  3. Multiple Tuesdates with Babs
  4. Bike rides w/RN and Toronto Cruisers
  5. Going to a concert by myself (UDD)
  6. Getting my heart broken into pieces
  7. CrewNights in between
  8. Day drunking at Pride
  9. Camping/Famthings in Cobourgh
  10. Summer isn’t summer unless you go to a Blue Jays game
  11. Salsa on St. Clair memories
  12. Late nights at work
  13. Nightowl adventures
  14. Summerlicious
  15. That first squishy adventure
  16. ColdTea on a Sunday (unforgettable)
  17. Morning coffees, Thursday Oysters, Wing Nights @ Sharks
  18. More bike adventures after blue steal breaks twice
  19. RollWorld
  20. Afternoon walk by Madison + the sleepovers drunk/sober
  21. SocaNight hangover (phone screen shattered) followed by Raq danceoffs
  22. Riding to Woodbine beach with Nanay
  23. Sunset at Tommy Thompson with the boys who ride
  24. Kultura
  25. Niagara trip with the NEDCS team
  26. Solar Eclipse, HipHop night at parkdale, GoKart
  27. ARTSPIN
  28. GirlsNight.DateNight with the Bestie
  29. BRUNO MARS
  30. Late night adventures with Babs
  31. Karaoke Night, Rosewater, Lavalle
  32. the unmentionable PEACOKBAR trip
  33. CNE feels
  34. Talking to many moons

after all of that of course i was bound to get sick. immune system got to an all time low and i caught the bug. would i do it all over again, absolutely. i wish time slowed down but it didn’t, it just kept going faster and faster. time to slow down, there is always tomorrow or next year. haha 😦

 

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adventures with babs

joyride missions to markham, from the east to the west. we sang in the car to make sure everyone can hear us, windows down, making lasting memories only we can laugh about for days to come. thank you babs for being one of the few constant in my life. labayu poreber tol kahit sabi nila walang forever!

  

 

Is it just our bodies?
Are we both losing our minds?
Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight
‘Cause we’re scared to be lonely?
Do we need somebody
just to feel like we’re alright?
Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight
‘Cause we’re scared to be lonely?

reminder: passport is expired

shit! – but it’s ok, i lost my wanderlust self waaahh maybe next year.

for the past year or so i have been booking days off from work without any plans of actually vacationing anywhere. i’ve been obsessed with staycationing tbh – but i haven’t been able to do it right at all. i never get to do what i need to do and end up just watching days pass without getting anything done from my to-do list. i’m off again this coming week and some days have been set with meeting up with people, doing things around the city and enjoying the last week of summer. single life (for me) makes it hard to want to plan trips (even though the craving is there) and also i’m still deflecting (getting tired of it but feeling numb is easier than feeling hurt).

as an adult i have kept the idea of school year’s summer break as “official summer”. once september hits it feels like summer is over (even though it’s really not and it should be weather based or actual day based). anyway, dear time – whoa slow the fuk down, please and thanks. all i want to do is crawl in bed, curl up and not move (hence the picture chosen for this post). i’m sure i have followers on insta that is wondering hard about my lifestyle and trust me, i’m just here contemplating about it a lot too. where did summer go? 

i need to slow down and the only way is to take it one breath at a time. i want to remember and be aware and be present. i want to be able to converse and form opinions and stick to plans. no more overbooking, no more feeling like everything needed to get done yesterday. there’s only so many tomorrows so let’s do it today.

tentative timeline, let’s project manage this staycation:

  • Monday: deal w/nanay’s taxes + passport + bike ride for exercise
  • Tuesday: champagne in the morning + karaoke
  • Wednesday: clean room + cousin’s day
  • Thursday: ME DAY (reflection + budget day)
  • Friday: photo decluttering + crew night (if available)
  • Saturday: CNE DAY
  • Sunday or Monday: Portlands/TT

learned a new term today – TFW: an internet slang acronym that stands for “that feel when.” interesting because i have been having soooo many TFW moments.

later days.

Unfinished Drafts

as i prepare to back up the iphones, i also clean out my wordpress draft box. i’ve already posted a bunch which i think you’ve already received notifications (if subscribed). last time i had a lot to say was november last year, blah blah blah yes – i’ve been busy.

below are a long list of drafts that i now feel does not deserve a post on its own or discontinued because i didn’t get to finish and gave up on because i’ve lost all the sentiments of what i was writing about.

01/09/2013 10:00 PM
Title: Digital envy

before i (discontinued)

08/16/2013 1:17 AM
Title: Ceiling can’t hold us…

i don’t notice ceilings, i notice doors. doors of opportunity, doors to experiences and …

regret should not exist in life.               there is a reason for what you did. it’s all calculated in the back end. (discontinued)

09/04/2013 1:17 PM
Title: Planning our trip to LA/Vegas

http://www.tripadvisor.ca/CheapFlights?ipCountry=CA
http://www.lvmonorail.com/ride/station_guide/

http://www.lonelyplanet.com/usa/las-vegas/transport/getting-there-around
http://www.discoverlosangeles.com/blog/100-free-things-do-los-angeles-free-activities

http://www.viator.com/popups/priceAvailCal.jspa?code=3357LAXHTLDTNLAS&tourGradeCode=LALVOW&productType=SIC&id=1010&listDate=2013-10-01&setLocale=en&browseDir=FW

03/31/2014 9:06 PM
Title: Road(Bus) Trip!

for my mom’s 55th birthday i took her on a Tai-Pan tours trip to Montreal. i
(discontinued)

04/29/2014 3:59 PM
Title: the Girls

how do i not have a post about my wonderful girlfriends. (discontinued)

05/09/2014 12:35 AM
Title: Being single is not a choice

(empty)

07/16/2015 11:49 PM
Title: Dear Lacie

dearlacie

why are you so unorganized? what brought on this frustration… let me tell you.

there is currently no order in my life. when i got back from the Philippines i realized what was missing in my life, routine. yes that’s right i don’t have one. i don’t even know how i got to 30 without one. i envy people who are vigilant in life. does that sentence even make sense, not sure but all i know is i’m craving for order in my life. can you tell lately?

it became evident to me whenever i fiddled with Lacie. (for those that don’t know Lacie is my portable external hard drive). i’ve always has people ask me why i don’t post pictures. here’s why; i can’t decide on how to tell the story. i like themes, i don’t like just posting for the sake of posting especially on facebook. if a picture makes it on facebook to share, i make sure that those are the only ones i actually want the world to know. bits&pieces posts that i started here this year is actually a long hard process. the thought of having to choose and pick 1 picture per event or per week as a highlight is seriously taxing. it’s exhausting to only post 9 pictures per block of memory. i like to think that it’s simpler than that, but with the everydays i have, all of them are highlights.

so what do i have to look forward to… let’s see. make a daily reminder of what needs to be done. time to seriously PROJECT MANAGEMENT my personal life. i need a serious reminder everyday about my wanted routine:
(discontinued)

08/26/2015 12:17 AM
Title: boopixels: Rebranding

   

 

10/08/2015 12:27 AM
Title: for my birthday this year

i’m off to london with J. in preparing for our trip to Europe, my mom has offered to give me some spending money. i guess it doubles as my birthday present. but i got to thinking, i can just ask her to buy me lens for my camera. it would be cheaper than what she’s planning on giving me and it would make my pictures that much better… right? score!

{first-sony-e-mount-lenses-to-buy} found this site that lists the different types of lenses i can buy for my sony a6000. i’d like to think i know what i need to know about photography but after reading this i’m a bit overwhelmed. i was told i don’t need them all but the one i’m supposed to have is a prime lens. ok fine, umm why did i buy a camera that sells expensive freaking lenses. but essentially, i don’t need anything else once i have the prime lens. i guess i can be categorized as a street photographer. i tend to go for the expensive ones because i didn’t want to compromise on low-light pictures.

i learned that my camera can take pictures of the stars. it would’ve been awesome if i had a tri-pod but it took amazing pictures that first night we were at the cottage.

(insert pictures here)

i’m not sure about the settings though because even if it had the flash on, the shutter was supper slow. unless of course it’s broken because i dropped it in jollibee during my trip in the philippines.

there’s so many things to consider, i’m a bit annoyed by it. i think i’m finally done with this whole photography stuff after this. point & shoot just wasn’t cutting it for me anymore because of the numerous low-light photography i end up doing. must be because i’m a night owl. mmm owl, i want to blog about them so much haha.

01/04/2016 11:38 AM
Title: zero waste

http://www.trashisfortossers.com/2015/05/5-ways-to-reduce-your-waste-today.html

is it at all possible for me to live this way. i doubt it… especially if you live in a building where garbage is not even split from recyclables etc.
(discontinued)

01/10/2016 11:37 PM
Title: blessings


i have a long list of materialistic things I want to get on top of (discontinued)

02/09/2016 7:21 PM
Title: this just in…

note to self: you hold people back. and that is not ok. (discontinued)

04/15/2016 12:04 AM
Title: room makeover

http://www.justbellablog.com/2013/06/gold-desk-ikea-hack.html (discontinued)

nov 23//10:47pm
Title: BFF Status(es)

The other night I was reading my previous blog posts. I went to the very beginning and I officially feel like a best friend whore.

I never really thought about this thoroughly, and I was told tonight that this isn’t a bad thing, but I wonder are we really allowed to have that many. haha

I feel blessed to have met so many to associate with as a best friend. Not going to name names, but I hope they know that at a certain point in my life they were a crucial part.

march 20 (year unknown) // sometime at night
Title: dark days

thepoetrybandit

this week’s forecast will be a lot of rain with a slight chance of sun. the weather has always played a big part in my mood. usually though, when i’m in a good place, rain or shine i’m upbeat. this week i think not so much. there will be days when things are dark and i’m ok with that. all i need to do is get home and sleep it off.

i thought i knew what i would talk about after typing that first line, but i guess i don’t know what else to say. it may be because his cousin posted something over the weekend that got me thinking, maybe it is wrong to be hopeful. but without hope or faith, i could find myself turning into a chameleon, fading into the background. i don’t know how to be me without those things.

the road to self-discovery is really not that easy. but a self-help book exercise may help. looking forward to brighter days.

Feb 10, 2017 11:00 AM
Title: bungalow
i accidentally deleted the post about my dream of buying a bungalow m037.

the sentiment is still there but now i have the opportunity of telling it differently.

i picture it to be my forever home. it will have charm.

it will have a nook, a backyard, and all the necessary rooms (bedroom, kitchen, bathroom). in the dining room section, the wall will be covered in chalk paint. it will contain inspirational quotes, current events, future events, and a grocery shopping list. it will also have a list of household chores/fixes.

the backyard will have those lights i’ve always loved. all year long. my mom will plant things that will remind her of her childhood. we will have reading/reminiscing times together as many times as we can. i will host backyard parties, pitch a tent, stargaze.

i will build things in spaces that are open for it.

Earlier this year 10:58 PM
Title: 2017 // side note

i haven’t written all year. there are numerous things i could’ve mentioned here about self discovery and such but instead i chose to binge watch and burry my face with work-work. i need to stop constantly putting work first but it’s almost like second nature… sort of… i just feel uneasy when i know there’s outstanding tasks (left at the last minute) with work stuff. i keep taking on new projects even though i haven’t closed off another and mundane tasks just simply cascades.

i have a draft about the ultimate goals for 2017, which is the reason why this is called side note. this year has been really boring so far… only because here i am a year later and still going through the same exact motions. i haven’t made any strides in the direction i was hoping to go to.

ANYWAY. enough about that for now and let’s remember that this week i learned my man type. i find myself attracted to guys who exude br (damn! discontinued – current train of thought lost. womps. womps.)

Life Lately

I haven’t thought of him in a while. I creep but as I find nothing, I’m left with wondering what happened to their very public announcement. July was a very busy month. I’ve always had busy months throughout the years but being booked a month in advance like that felt like a whole other level of busy.

It was much needed. It’s how to deal.

July was a month of entertaining the idea of meeting new people. As exciting as it was, nothing real substantial came out of that. Previous guys I dated or met with reached out but considering the busy month it never really happened. I entertained the idea of practice dates but never participated in one.

I found a numbing substance that allows me to see everything in a different perspective. I have been feeling really good under the influence that I crave it more and more. I shouldn’t, it’s really not a bad thing but I don’t want to be reliant on it and I know that once I’ve seen all that I want to see under this substance, I would have to start facing reality, facing time and the lack of it or the shortness of it.

Since it’s the first of August on my 32nd year, I find myself craving stillness. I have filled my days with endless activities – things I’ve always wanted to do, I’ve learned I wanted to do and at the end of it all I find myself hoping for someone to ground me. But in order to find someone I have to be willing to be found. I have to be present wholeheartedly to be broken, vulnerable and hopefully happy. It’s a foreign term to think I can be happy in someone else’s arms that just thinking about it makes me feel all choked up. He made it look so easy, they make it look so easy.

When will I allow myself to make it easy for myself.